The Silent Struggle of Leadership
When people look at high-powered executives, they often see success polished to perfection. Yet beneath this surface, many of these leaders face a silent struggle, haunted by a belief that performance equals love and fulfillment. Like many others, I once believed that my worth was tied to my achievements, thinking that one more deal or accomplishment would fill the void. But as Dr. Eric Potterat highlights in Learned Excellence, this misconception leads to "immense stress and emotional fragmentation" when the external image doesn’t align with internal reality.
Hiding in Plain Sight
In the corporate world, executives often wear a mask of perfection, battling inner turmoil while presenting a brave face. Dr. Potterat stresses that “closing the gap between who you are and who you present to the world is the first step toward healing.” The very traits that make one a high achiever—drive, resilience, ambition—also make it difficult to admit the need for help. Vulnerability is still seen as a weakness in many corporate cultures, leading leaders to bury emotions and repress needs, which only deepens the emotional toll.
The Crisis of Executive Burnout
Executive burnout isn’t merely a productivity issue; it’s a full-blown mental health crisis. To sustain themselves, executives need to pivot from relentless schedules and the pressure of constant availability. Embracing wellness and mental health strategies becomes critical to protecting oneself from the devastating effects of chronic stress.
Yet, for those used to being ‘always on,’ these changes can feel foreign. Setting boundaries, prioritizing well-being, and saying "no" may seem uncomfortable, but with conscious effort, these habits become foundational for a fulfilling career and life. In the long run, this shift can prevent burnout and support well-being rather than sacrificing it.
The Emotional Weight of Transitions
Major life transitions—whether retirement, job loss, divorce, or a new role—add layers of complexity to the executive struggle. For many, the line between personal worth and professional success blurs. When a career or relationship changes, so does one’s sense of self. Research in the Journal of Vocational Behavior notes that such transitions often bring a psychological state of “liminality,” where individuals feel stuck between their old and new selves, grappling with questions like “Who am I without this job?” (Ashforth, 2018). This ambiguity can trigger anxiety, depression, and a loss of purpose as individuals search for renewed worth.
I’ve lived this firsthand, and I’ve seen it in others. At one moment, you’re at the top of your game; in the next, you’re lost in an identity crisis, asking yourself what value you bring now. The transition feels like losing a part of yourself, shaking the very core of who you are.
Choosing Authentic Leadership
True strength isn’t found in hiding but in authenticity—accepting who you are and seeking support. Vulnerability is the antidote to executive isolation. Brene Brown, in Dare to Lead, reminds us that “vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” Embracing this mindset allows leaders to break free from emotional repression and heal through alignment with their authentic selves.
For executives ready to step into authenticity, practices like mindfulness, therapy, and coaching provide pathways to build emotional resilience. It’s about more than a job title; it’s about embracing one’s worth outside of performance.
Practical Steps for Healing
Establishing self-care routines is key to breaking the cycle of hiding emotions. Here are practices that can support a more balanced life:
1. Daily Mindfulness Practice: Meditation or mindfulness brings focus to the present moment, helping executives reconnect with emotions buried under layers of performance.
2. Setting Boundaries: High achievers often struggle with saying “no,” but without boundaries, burnout is inevitable. Prioritizing time and energy becomes crucial for sustainable success.
3. Seeking Professional Support: Therapy, coaching, or peer support provides valuable tools and strategies for emotional well-being. Learned Excellence emphasizes the importance of a trusted mentor or coach to guide this process.
4. Physical Activity: Movement helps maintain mental health. Exercise routines—whether running, yoga, or cold bathing—alleviate stress and foster clarity.
Embrace the Journey
Executives are often told that vulnerability is a flaw, yet it’s the key to a more authentic, meaningful life. Performance doesn’t define worth, and transitions, though challenging, open doors for growth. By embracing vulnerability, prioritizing self-care, and connecting authentically, leaders can break free from the silence that holds them back. As they embark on this journey of healing, they will not only perform at their best but live with more purpose and connection.
References:
· Ashforth, B.E. (2018). Role Transitions in Organizational Life: An Identity-Based Perspective. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 108, 1-15.
· Brown, B. (2018). Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Random House.
· Potter, E. (2022). Learned Excellence: Cultivating Authentic Leadership for Organizational Success.
Author Bio:
Keith Binkley is a seasoned corporate sales leader with over 30 years of experience. He is also a graduating student of Nickerson Institute's Integrative Mental Health Coach Training Program. Keith believes in the power of vulnerability and is passionate about helping executives break free from the silent struggles of leadership to embrace authenticity, well-being, and fulfillment. He is also a volunteer coach for The Honor Foundation helping men and women of the US Special Forces transition out of the military and is a co-founder of The Sam Aden Kindness Fund that supports youth mental health initiatives in Colorado.