Many people who have had long-time friendships are now realizing they have very little in common anymore. There is no longer an authentic emotional connection. From a frequency/vibrational perspective, the energies are no longer in alignment. This creates such a great sense of loss, especially if you lose several friends at the same time. Some people are telling me that they are actually down to only having one close friend.
Are cosmic forces at play?
Is there a universal force that is affecting our friendships in a very divinely appointed way?
I believe there are.
For those of us who are going through the process of ascension, many things are changing in our lives, including our personal frequency and level of consciousness. And sometimes even our purpose is shifting. These changes can have a tremendous impact on our friendships, as it becomes very difficult to remain in friendships that no longer feel meaningful, connective, or are even draining.
Adopting a divine perspective.
While it might be difficult to understand and cause a deep sense of grief, consider taking time to see the loss of friendship from the Universe perspective — that the loss may actually be a blessing that allows you to grow closer to your purpose and continue your journey to the next level or dimension.
Friends sometimes come into our lives for a reason or a season…
I deeply value my friendships. When I reflect back over the segments of my life, each ‘growth spurt’ (relocation, starting university, career change, etc.) was precipitated by an abrupt long-term friendship loss.
When the end came out of the blue with no explanation, I felt blindsided and there was always a grieving period of this major life experience. In retrospect, I now realize that if any of these friendships had stayed intact, I would not have taken the next step on my destined mission but would have stayed ‘status quo’ for the sake of loyalty or comfortableness.
Trust that these losses have a purpose.
Sometimes these loss of friendships are actually agreed upon soul contracts that keep us on our highest life’s journey. Of course, we never realize it at the time. At the time, it hurts. It really hurts.
A colleague of mine shared one of her ‘soul contract’ events with me recently.
After relocating to a new city, she became friends with a woman who seemed like an angel. This woman helped her get settled into the area, introduced her to influential business people, and invited her to every social event.
As time past, they grew close, and it became evident that this new friend had many personal issues — dissension with her siblings, tension in her marriage, and political in-fighting at her work.
"I didn't mind being there for her, especially considering how she had been there for me when I felt like an outsider in town. But after awhile I realized that our time together was only about her and her dramas. We didn't do anything except talk about her. It was draining.
Then late one evening, after what was supposed to be a girl's movie night, but really ended up being another exhausting four hours of captivity, she hugged me and said, 'You're the sister I never had!'
It was like a punch in the gut because I immediately realized that she was the sister I did have!"
In that moment, it became clear to my colleague that she had attracted this friend in replica of her sister — and mimicked their relationship exactly.
Why had she done it? Why did my colleague choose a 'stand-in' for her sister?
"I think I chose that friend because she was comfortable. Familiar. Perhaps even because, at the subconscious level, I thought that was the relationship I deserved."
Giving thanks for the loss.
My colleague said that after getting some help from her coach, she was able to grieve the loss and feel deep gratitude for the friendship — and for the relationship with her sister, as well.
"Both were there to teach me about boundaries and my self-worth. I think when I didn't learn the lesson through my sister, I attracted the friend who would teach me those things."
Giving gratitude to those who teach us the lessons we need to learn about ourselves is one of the big steps in the ascension process. These awakenings are the reason we’re here! Our souls are meant to evolve and our family, friends, coworkers and even strangers can be powerful teachers on our journeys.
7 questions to reflect on for lost friendships
If you have recently lost friends in your life and are feeling confused, disconnected or in grief, here are some questions you can reflect upon or journal about to help you gain a higher, more nourishing perspective. What might you have been attempting to get resolution on?
We’ve created a roadmap to help you get started. You can download it here.
1. Think about who this friend might have replicated in your family of origin?
2. What was the trait that was similar between your friend and your family member?
3. How might this trait/issue have been left unresolved such that you had to recreate a similar friendship situation in the hopes of gaining emotional resolve?
4. Do you think you came closer to gaining emotional resolve through this friendship?
5. If so, do you see the magnificence that this friend played in your life? What was the gift?
6. If not, what can you be aware of for the next time you develop a friendship? Are you replaying the same pattern?
7. Either way, have your soul give thanks to your friend’s soul for carrying out its purpose. It’s all part of the evolution process.
If you’re wanting to learn more, our Down to Earth Guide to Ascension course offers a gentle perspective and practical tools to help you on your journey. We’re offering it now for 33% off — use coupon code “FRIENDS” at checkout and pay only $97.
